"to be continued..."
You were waiting weren't you?
I sufficiently vented and had no remorse after I hit
"post."
That being said, there is an "although."
And here it is:
I'm working though this out loud.
Just because someone LOVES cooking and has a really nice camera, and takes pictures of their food, does not make them my mortal enemy.
Just because they sew and craft, and decorate, and shop, and have great things, and do great things, does not mean they are not just that,
really talented.
I feel all that I wrote,
AND
I know the fault lies with me.
It is me who is seeing the negative.
Placing some unspoken intention behind a blog, or a picture.
We all enjoy a pretty picture,
I'm no exception.
A picture is worth a thousand words,
and instead of those words saying to me,
"wow, I bet her life is perfect."
or
"I must have that/do that,"
or
"how does she have time to do that AND be a mom."
I will enjoy the fact that it is a pretty picture.
And just that.
And chances are, behind the pretty picture you will find an assortment of life's joys:
a kid vomiting all over the couch,
money struggles,
bum wiping,
spouse arguments,
undone projects,
cold cereal for dinner,
days in sweats,
weight gain,
loneliness,
overwhelming responsibilities,
crying,
frustration,
head spinning, mind numbing insanity.
You know, being a mom.
And because I am really tired sometimes,
and overwhelmed,
and just trying to get by somedays,
I wonder why every other Mormon mommy blogger isn't going through the same thing.
Misery loves company right?
But there are those moments of perfection.
Shiny, Happy moments.
And instead of begrudging others,
I shall try to find more of mine.
And if I catch it on camera and post it,
I know you won't be jealous,
you'll just be glad I had the camera handy.
2 comments:
i really like this post and the original one you're referring to. i think a lot of mormon moms feel the same way -- i know i do. one thing i have found helpful is to only read the blogs of people i actually know and are friends with. because i know them, i know there is so much more to them then just what they blog about.
if i start following a lot of these other "mormon mommy blogs" that the article was talking about, after awhile all i feel is like i'm not good enough, cool enough, artistic enough, or talented enough. and who want to feel like that? like you -- i fully recognize this is MY issue and not theirs. so, i try to keep that in perspective.
thanks for posting this.
I agree with Jessica. I only read the blogs of people I actually know because otherwise I would feel just like you. Thanks for keeping it real Jeanine. And know that there are people out there who are jealous of you, and how well you are able to hold yourself and your family together, YW president and all. You're a rock star.
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